the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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