Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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