I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
