Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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