we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
