The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
