Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
