he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
