i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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