I'm jealous of your bromance
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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