I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
