Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
