Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
