Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
