First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize