just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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