I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
