I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
