wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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