it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
