Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
smell my finger.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
