Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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