operation have a gay friend backfired
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize