Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
