But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
