i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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