Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
