Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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