no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
