Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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