roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
