I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
