I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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