Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
