I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
