peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And then he peed in my hair
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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