Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize