What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
