yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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