You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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