he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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