I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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