Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
