ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
