ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
