I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What a dumb baby whore.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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