My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
