i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
