I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
