Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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