I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
