Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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