maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
