hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize