I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
