apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
