Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
