i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
