FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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