i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
