I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
