apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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